Last nights episode was filled with egos and nasty attitudes. They’re going to have to reveal the supreme soon, because I don’t think we can take much more of the snobs and brats reveling in their new powers.
Fiona said a heart-warming eulogy at Nan’s funeral. Yes, Fiona the same person that killed Nan to begin with. How is that right?
Queenie and Madam Delphine show up at the funeral to the surprise of no one. (No one seems to die on this show.) Queenie miraculously was able to survive the self-inflicted gunshot in the mouth and even spit out the bullet Hank had lodged in her gut. She also put Delphine back together. She is back to her old self and no longer a talking head.
In fact, Delphine is so much back to her old self, that when she returns to the coven, she decides to return to her old ways. And when I say old ways, I mean way back to her evil and mentally deranged ways of the eighteen hundreds.
She loathes her responsibilities as a maid and who could blame her? No one enjoys having to clean up after someone else. Madison refuses to flush the toilet after taking a dump, Marie Lavaeu threatens her every chance she gets, and she’s stuck cleaning toilets and cooking meals. In the spirit of her old ways, she uses Madison’s un-flushed crap to make a soup for all the members of the coven. (Gag)
Isn’t someone going to realize this guy is missing?
She also realizes that the reason she isn’t truly “living” is because she is no longer torturing slaves. Delphine narrates and explains that her sick habits started way before she even came to New Orleans. She used to torture animals as a child and had parents that paid her no mind. She’s a clinical sociopath. Delphine takes advantage of the chance to help the gardener, who has cut his hand on some shears, so that she can escort him to the attic, which he will not return from. She cuts off his toes and fingers, relishing his pain. Didn’t this woman just break down crying watching a marathon of Roots? It’s like she never learned a thing!
If you’re a psycho killer, an equally mentally disturbed ghost, is the best partner you can have.
Spalding the ghost makes an appearance and commends her on her work. He’s just kissing ass because he needs a favor. He promises to keep her deranged habits a secret and help get rid of the immortal Marie Laveau, if she will put in an order for one of those creepy dolls he’s obsessed with.
Don’t pronounce the name or it won’t help you kill immortals!
How do we kill the immortal Marie? The answer is right in your bathroom medicine cabinet. Spalding whips out some Benadryl and tells Delphine to put it in Marie’s drink. I dunno, but something sounds fishy when killing a powerful immortal witch is boiled down to an effective antihistamine blocker. He won’t even let Delphine try to pronounce the name on the box, because…it’s too powerful?
In other news, Madison is in full bitch mode. Someone needs to intervene and bring her down from that high horse that she is literally riding. Like the spoiled brat that she has always been, she decides to throw a hissy fit when she can’t give Kyle a BJ because he tells her that he loves Zoe. After telekinetically taking down picture frames and breaking glass, Madison has the gall to threaten the same person she was trying to have sex with a few minutes prior. She tells Kyle that she put him together and will enjoy taking him apart.
She is sure she is the next supreme and tells Myrtle Snow that she will be bringing the coven into modern times, apparently with crotch-less panties. It’s times like these you wish that no one had ever revived her the last time she died.
Prior to Madison’s spoiled brat spaz, Zoe does a spell to figure out who killed Nan. She is now the only one that knows that Marie and Fiona worked together to kill Nan. Kyle knows too, but he obviously doesn’t count.
Marie is texting during the Delphi slaughter. Just another massacre. (boring)
Fiona and Marie schedule a meeting with Delphi. You would think that even the most heavily protected witch hunting organization, should have been smart enough to know that the supernatural powers of witches are no match for anything they can put together.
When Delphi doesn’t agree to a list of demands from the two witches, Fiona’s beloved ghost boyfriend makes an appearance killing everyone in the room while Marie and Fiona sip on their drinks with warm smiles. Fiona has the honor of finishing off Hank’s father herself.
Cordelia is doing spells and trying her best to regain the sight that she once had. The sight gave her confidence that she didn’t have before even with all the knowledge she possesses. She tries to speak to Queenie and gain her love, but since everyone’s a bitch on AHS right now, Queenie gives her undeserved attitude for not being useful.
Weren’t these eyes a gift?
Cordelia can’t take much more of not feeling powerful or forward enough to be involved in what’s going on in the coven, so she gauges her own eyes out, in hopes of regaining that inner sight she had before.
In a strange private meeting between Myrtle Snow and Zoe, Myrtle tells Zoe that she should leave the coven with Kyle. Myrtle gives her an expensive pendant to pawn, in case she needs money. She advises her not to try to put it on because she doesn’t have the fashion flair that she has and would never be able to pull it off. Myrtle says some poetic nonsense about love and having something no else has, but I can’t tell what her true intentions are. She tells Zoe of her own experience with love, which involves losing the man of her dreams to Diane Von Furstenberg. (A hilarious fashion joke.) Zoe says that she cant leave because she thinks that she’s the supreme and Myrtle assures her that if she truly is, it is more reason to leave before Madison or Fiona get to her.
When Marie Laveau returns, Delphine is waiting with a drink for her that has diluted Benadryl pills. Delphine stabs Marie and the immortal voodoo queen gets right up and pulls the blade out of her chest. Delphine is confused as to why she doesn’t die and after revealing that she had put Benadryl in her drink, Marie explains that its an antihistamine and she clearly doesn’t have any allergies. In an attempt to get Delphine, Marie falls down the stairs after Spalding knocks her out. Spalding knows that Marie cannot be killed he just wants her out the way. He suggests Delphine bury her or find something to do with her.
He dresses up in his weird dolly clothes and takes out the baby that Marie had been caring for. His only goal was being able to have a real life doll, the baby that Marie had stolen.
In the end, Zoe and Kyle escape to Florida.
Till next week 🙂